Weirdly wonderful Parenting: Sunshine and Roses

parenting

WoWeE, its been a while since I have actually posted something. The cogs are constantly turning in my head, but to actually get it out has proved itself to be a challenge. The past few weeks or months have passed by so quickly and I have hardly noticed. But what I have noticed is how emo Kelso can get. He has become pretty difficult over the past few months. He hasn’t been unruly, but we have had to walk in egg shells so that he doesn’t cry. His teacher said that he doesn’t deal with his emotions in an age appropriate way and honestly, that did piss me off a little, what the hell is age appropriate? What I do know is that we all deal with our emotions in our unique way. And that is ok, sometimes. It can leave me feeling bewildered and confused because I sometimes just want to help and I can’t.

What I have noticed is how Kelso can put himself down. How he can pull out all the negative speak. It breaks my heart really because for the most part, a small kid should believe they are the bomb.com; there is plenty time to put oneself down and get all jaded. But not at 7. When I asked him what about his day was good he couldn’t think of anything. He was always looking for the bad in his day. Someone was mean to him or someone didn’t want to play with him. That victim mentality that drives many of us up the wall. I don’t want him to be that emotional leach that drives people mad. I know as his mother I should be a little more supportive, but I would rather see how I can turn the frown upside down instead of accommodating that behavior that was starting to drain me emotionally. Remember, mothers are human too; also having some insight into the enneagram, I know my number, and I am pretty aware of what makes me want to crawl into a cave and it is pretty much anything that breaks down my space bubble. But I have also come to figure out where he sits on that spectrum too, so I thought I would use that to see how I can change the way he sees the world. I am not sure if it is normal and honestly, I wanted to take him to a psychologist because it was getting that bad.

I started with a happiness stone; Kelso loves stones and sticks, so we just picked one. And every night before bed we would sit and he would have to hold his stone and think of the best thing in the day and put all the happiness he felt into the stone. At first he thought it was a little bit weird, but went along with it. Difficult at first and but when he got the thought of something that made him happy, a little smile grew. The idea was that when he was feeling down he could hold his stone and remember the happy stuff that he put in there. So far so good.

He was sick last week so I thought I would give him some Reiki, it has been a while since I have done that. And I found that it not only calmed him down within minutes, but I got the chill too which was nice too. His cold cleared up quickly and we continued with the Reiki every night. He thanks me every morning and he asks for it every night. But the deal is that he is in bed early, so its brought bed time forward so he is even sleeping longer.

Finally, this week, I thought I would teach him about setting his intent for the day. One of my quotes from the movie “Home” is; “Today is best day ever.” Or something like that. So before Kelso gets out the car I ask him what day it is… And then we both say… “Today… Is best day ever”. I have told him that if he expects it to be a good day, chances are it will be. Now when I ask how his day was, he says it was a good day. He tells me about the games he played with his friends and there is less doom and gloom which is a good thing.

30 April 2015-4BW

So I don’t know how long this will last. Maybe only until some other developmental phase. But it has been super pleasant to see him appreciate the good shit. And homework has been easier. So maybe it is going to bed early, maybe its the Reiki, maybe he is just in a better space, who cares why, the fact is, things are better and even I am feeling happier and more positive too. So it really is a win all round.

with love

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