I always think this and I am sure somewhere along the way I have written it. I believe that as much as we think we are here to teach kids the ropes and the meaning of life, I think before we do that, we need to stop and take a few notes from their books. We were all children, so we knew all this already. We were the same fun loving hooligans that we so often raise a brow to when this fun loving happiness is taking place in woolworths … while you are trying to navigate a trolley through narrow aisles. We just lost our way somewhere. And I say lost our way because as we got older, we got serious, we got negative, we started to hold grudges. And we always say after a really fun time; “I felt like a kid again!”. We forgot to play, we forgot to let go and just be with no hang-ups.
Since having Kelso, I have rediscovered my inner child. But go careful, they are also able to bring out those facets of yourself that you may not like either. Remember, they mirror behaviors too. But I will only note the good. And the bad is by no fault of Kelso, I have had to have a look at myself and ….. learn, change, adapt and have become a better person for it.
Here are some things he has taught me:
#1 – UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Unconditional Love is a concept that is pretty hard to grasp as we get older. Love always comes with conditions it seems. Kelso loves me even though my body is not perfect. He loves me when I am in a bad mood. He loves me when he doesn’t like the clothes I am wearing. He loves me when I say no. He loves me when I don’t buy him toys. He loves me ALL THE TIME! He never points out my flaws. There is the odd occasion where he will say that we are bad parents for not doing what he wants us to, but for the most part, he is full of love. This is not Kelso specific. This is children in general. On the flip side, we realise that we are able to love another human being in all their glory. I love Kelso all the time, even when I am not liking him. There is this love that nothing can compare too. I look at that face of his and I just want to kiss it.
#2 – FORGIVENESS
As we got older we lost our ability to forgive. We scold our kids, we will give them hidings. We will say and do things that make them sad. This is not to say we are bad parents, we are human too. And no matter what you did to them, they move past it and forgive you. They don’t cut ties with you (LOL, they know what side their bread is buttered on!), they don’t say nasty things back, they don’t hate you. They are sad for a little while and soon they are happy go lucky and you guys are best mates again. I see this in kelso’s interactions with other kids too. There was a tiff, not friends for about 20 minutes and then it’s over. Bygons are bygones. They don’t hang onto it and carry this baggage around with them.
#3 – EVERYTHING IS INTERESTING
There is fun in everything. Nothing is boring. The focus of fascination the other day at home was a millipede known locally as a shongololo. I showed Kelso how they curl up when you touch them. We went hunting for snails one day. We think that excitement comes in colourful wrapping, but it is actually on your doorstep and totally what you make of it.
#4 – SIMPLICITY IS THE WAY FORWARD
If you have ever watched a child figure something out, they are able to do it quite quickly. Be it moving boxes to stand on to reach something, opening drawers to use as a step ladder, etc. I am amazed at Kelso’s sense of logic. I am not saying my son is a genius, but the sheer simplicity of it is just something to be noted. We are able to quickly get entangled in a complicated web of all sorts. They figure things out bit by bit. They do one thing at a time. And are able to solve problems quicker. I am trying to think of an example, but nothing is coming to mind. Next time.
#5 – TANTRUMS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
We frown upon tantrums. Not sure why, we throw them all the time whether we are aware of it or not. We scream and shout too. But the tantrum I speak of is the one that is a combination of screaming, stomping feet, throwing things. You feel so much better after that intense release. I reckon this is how kids are able to just carry on. They cannot express how they feel in any other way when they are still small. But after they have let it all out, possibly had a little snooze afterwards (kicking and screaming can really take it out of you), they are happy-go-lucky again. Like nothing happened. We tend to bottle things up and then when it gets too much, we go off the rails. Get it out, there and then. Sure, perhaps alone is better. Take a drive on the highway and scream it out.
I could go on forever and a day. It’s really the simple things that make the biggest difference. We get so caught up in all the drama and the nonsense and it really achieves nothing. We are no happier for holding grudges, for complicating our lives, for being the serious face all the time. If we take down all the nonsense and learn to play, to laugh at ourselves, to be silly, to dance to your favourite song, if we stop to appreciate the beautiful sky, the pretty flowers and look for snails, happiness and peace just finds you.
Allow happiness and awesomeness to find you.
Keep Shining! ♥