My Project 364 has fizzled out into a Project 52. I only seem to get something interesting in on my week end’s. And because there are 52 weekends in a year, I thought a project 52 would be more appropriate. ERM. Anyways the one thing that is keeping me from a daily image is an exercise bike. Yes, I am trying to get some thin on. Back in the days of all week end benders, no sleep, no food, just party, I could slip into anything and look good. I was blonde and bountiful and probably unhealthy too. I was the fat kid and I didn’t want to be the fat kid anymore. Getting into skinny jeans was not a conscious decision. It was a life of colour and smoke. All week end Dancing. A self-confessed whistle blowing, lolly pop sucking raver – with all the trimmings!
My party ended and soon after, George and I reconnected and started dating. After a few months I looked at the top I wore on our first date and wondered if a 5 year old wore that last it looked so small. This is not to say I blame George, quite the opposite. I started to eat properly. Stopped smoking. Ate out more because I actually had money to do things the “normal” people do. Somewhere down the line I fell pregnant and packed on some extra ass and everything else. After 4 years, I decided I cannot blame that anymore, so initially I started walking and then jogging. The knees said Hell no. So now I cycle. I cycle over 30kms a day. Yesterday I reached 36km. “Pat on the back”.
What is inspiring these words is that in a new year, everyone wants to get their thin on and do the strangest things. Diet Pill sales go up quite significantly I am sure. I know of a thin woman (naturally thin too) who got asked if she would promote diet pills. You know those pictures of the thin women who lost 50kg on the miracle pills were never really fat to begin with. It is so easy to get a pair of fat pants and put them on a thin person. I have tried the starvation thing, it just makes you eat more of everything you deprived yourself of and you end up packing the kilo’s on anyways.
So why all this trouble? I ask myself all the time how we became a bunch of instant gratification lovers and in the instant of gratification we are adding some serious unhappiness in the days, weeks, months and years that follow. We are promised all the ‘Get Thin Quick’ schemes will help us look like models within days. And this is not the case. We are promised these miracle fad diets that perhaps are quick fix solutions, but are not sustainable at all. Why are we on the one hand being applauded for being “curvaceous” (I love that one, “I’m not fat, I’m curvaceous”), but on the other hand, we see billboards of lolly-pop ladies and see adverts for Diet Pills, promising that we can look like Lolly-pops within 30 days or your money back. It’s all so confusing. Who to believe?
What I have learnt in all of this, is I needed a proper reason. And the reason needed to be for myself. I have learnt that there is no quick fix. I have been on this journey for some time and the only thing I can say is that I have some muscle in my thighs, my calves look quite cool and I am nowhere near the figure of skeletor. Slimming down is hard work. It is a lot of sweat, a lot of heavy breathing and in the same breath (when it is back to normal), it is feeling flipping awesome after a riding nowhere at a steady pace. Exercise is key! I have had to say no to a few things, like my chocolate a day, the 50 cups of coffee. I have had to learn to like drinking water, eat fruit and say no to that 2nd slice of toast. I have had to learn to stop eating when I am full (I will never make Kelso eat what is on his plate – it leads to some rather unhealthy relationships with food). George and I share a meal when we do eat out. And in all of this, I apply a 90/ 10 rule. I do allow myself treats on weekends. I do not deny myself the simple pleasure of a piece of cake when I feel like it. My habits before were just completely unfounded. I got to understand the energy my body really needs to function and I try and stick within those boundaries. I have had to learn some patience too, this is a slow process. I have allocated myself a few months to just get back into the pre-Kelso wish list and I am pretty sure with some hard work, dedication and persistence, I will get there. And if I don’t, I will be fitter and healthier at any rate. In this process I am also learning some things about myself. I am challenging myself to cycle that little bit further every day and feel incredibly proud when I get 500m further.
My locus of control has been put in place and I am looking forward to my 60 minute bike ride this afternoon.
Love in the world. And Happy Friday!